Magnet in a Mailbag

Readers write here because they have questions, or because they're in trouble. Some present both scenarios--

Q. "On March 14, I attended a seminar in Tucson along with some friends," begins Grace Kennell. "It was conducted by European Health Concepts, of West Palm Beach, FL. All about the benefits of magnetic sleep systems. I purchased a twin mattress pad, with the guarantee that if it did not work, I would get 100 percent of my money back."

The cost of the pad: $837.90.

You guessed it; to her mind, the silly mattress pad doesn't work. Yet, Grace Kennell hasn't gotten her money back. "I am widowed, working to make ends meet," she continues, "and at age 70, I could sure use help. Any ideas?"

A. You explain that: "Older people will try just about anything to get relief from the pains of aging." Let's start there: Americans, of all ages, expect to find a magic bullet, a miracle drug, and a pain-free life in the mailbox. They merely have to pay attention to advertising and, one day, write a small check.

Please, get real. Play the lottery, if you must, but leave medicine and health care aids to professionals. Consider, if a legitimate medical scientist had a means to deliver pain-free sleep (or a "cure" for a condition), would he or she hold an alleged seminar in a motel?

What some insist on labeling breakthroughs simply never occur. Instead, we have small, authentic advances: instances where we learn a little something additional about a problem or a disease. These are, generally, published first in journals, such as the New England Medical Journal, or Lancet, or the Journal of the American Medical Assn. Thereafter, the popular media (newspapers, television, radio) report on the issue, quoting medical doctors and specialists. Caution, almost always, is the watchword.

Now, what should you do to get back your $837.90? First, make numerous copies of all your transaction papers. Write to the Arizona and Florida Better Business Bureaus, the State's Attorney (Attention: Consumer Fraud Division), the Federal Drug Administration (I'm presuming the mattress is credited with "curing" or "alleviating" one or another consequence of aging.) and, importantly, your local AARP chapter.

Now, if you're computer literate, use this invaluable tool. If not, go to the public library (or the nearest university library) and hunt for a compassionate, older woman librarian (that may be a redundancy). She'll help with getting you addresses, with making copies, and perhaps she'll even add a suggestion or three. Bottom line: you've got to pressure the questionable Florida company, most assuredly made up of deaf-eared hucksters, into refunding your money.

Include this column in your file, as well.

Why do so many prey upon the elderly? The answer is plain: 1) because the Great Gray Legion has money, 2) because the GGL is made up of trusting, gullible souls. The GGL needs to get tougher.

Finally, if you truly want to rid yourself of nocturnal pain, then take up water exercise. (Of course, tell your doctor.) Also, try tai chi, joining a class and finding a partner to swap symptoms with. You probably won't accept this truth, but most problems with/from aging can be alleviated, if not eliminated, through regular (three times as week), sensible, supervised exercise.