|
Gray Matter
The Grandparent Connection:
“Good for What Ails You”
“With Grandpa here,” my son announced to his son, well, “it’s like having a permanent ‘Play Date.’”
True: I had traveled from north Georgia to Altadena, CA to experience a series of Play Dates with grandson Zane, age 7, and his suddenly fashion-conscious sister Natalie, age 11, but about to turn 16.
Since Master Zane is a lone grandson, matched against five splendid granddaughters, we shall spend the next 600 words visiting with this blue-eyed, 60-pound enthusiast and athlete.
Consider, the tyke (4 feet, 4 inches) begins his days face down on the kitchen floor scouring sports pages, and 13 hours thereafter ends the days dribbling, suddenly shooting a miniature basketball into a hoop affixed to an appropriate door.
“Want to dunk one?” he asks as I move past his action-packed scene.
Another time, he bent low to whisper: “Want to see me dribble between my legs with my eyes closed?” All the while, he continues to dribble his regulation-sized basketball. (Aside: He proceeds next to prove he can do precisely what he advertises.)
I knew then that we were bonding: because he was beckoning me into his universe, one reached principally by bridges of invitation. Next, we began to throw a football back and forth in the backyard. Suddenly, jaded, he turned to kicking the ball.
“How do you get it to spiral?” he asked, presuming his aged grandpa held an answer to this nagging conundrum.
The late Erma Bombeck wrote how to the child, “Grandparents appear like an apparition, with no explanation. They just seem to go with the territory.” She added they have “no job description and few credentials.”
This onetime homemaker, possessor of a special genius for describing the dynamics of family life, concluded: “Love is a grandparent.”
Over the course of four Altadena days, Zane and I shared four dinners, two breakfasts (Routinely, he eats oatmeal in the car, in transit to school—please, don’t ask why?), and side-by-side we endured big sister’s Friday night basketball practice followed, however, by a victorious Saturday night game. (Aside: Zane called the score 44-14, adding Natalie grabbed 12 big points!)
For extra excitement (sic) there were several matches of Nock Hockey, a table game of unquestioned skill, stamina and fast hands. In each outing, Master Zane prevailed, 10-9. To witness his excitement, with his thin lips curved into a smile, is to know the joy of grandparenting: a bonus, which late-life rewards us survivors.
Now, why do I ask your indulgence here, further suggesting you follow along on this family journey? Because the business of grandparenting is good for what ails us. Author Daniel Goleman, Ph.D., in his bestselling books “Emotional Intelligence” and “Social Intelligence,” explains: “The most important people in our lives can be our biological allies.”
He continues, stating the generations are meant to intermingle, to support and affirm one another. “For most of human history,” he says, “there were extended families where the elderly lived in the same household as the babies.” This is the living arrangement we were designed for; it was nature’s way, the scientist insists.
“Many older people,” Dr. Goleman writes, “have the time and nurturing energy that kids crave---and vice versa.”
Say, can I tell you now of my five-star evening when Zane spontaneously climbed into my lap? Better than a tonic!
|
Outrageous Associations
