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Gray Matter
Calling All You Doting Grandparents
An angel bent down and whispered in my ear some 11 years ago. Ever since, I’ve been having more fun than Britney Spears on Saturday night. I speak here of the annual ‘Cute Grandbaby Story’ contest (caps C. G. S), which now enters an 11th consecutive year and continues to celebrate, and support, grandparenting.
What is a grandparent? As one child has suggested, “A grandma is old on the outsides and young on the insides.”
Our contest rules are simple. 1) In 250 words or less you tell me what is so adorable, engaging and irresistible about your grandchild; please, no handwritten scrawls. Emails or letters are preferred. 2) In six weeks, or thereabouts, we’ll announce the winner and a $50 gift certificate to a bookstore will be mailed to the grandparent submitting the winning narrative.
Now, to help all you Grandmothers and Granddads to become motivated, here are a couple of observations:
** Yes, write from the heart, but bear in mind that instinctive, natural love influences your viewpoints here. In other words, go easy on the slop, the gushing, the line that says, “There is no one quite like our little Betsy.”
** Bathroom humor seldom works: in the past we’ve cringed over what one grandson announced upon inspecting waste product. Meanwhile, a proud Grandpa sent along a snapshot of the granddaughter he nicknamed “Too Cute.” She was posed sweetly in her Potty Chair.
Here, then, are examples of splendid submissions from years past---
In this Illinois household the mother’s spontaneous statement, “That looks
like heaven!” prompted a four-year-old daughter (and grandchild) to ask, “What is heaven, Mommy?” The answer went something like this: “It’s a place you get to be with God and everything is warm and wonderful. You can do whatever makes you happy there.”
To which this obviously opinionated tyke replies, “I’m going to Grandma’s house. You and Daddy can go to heaven.”
Then we have the granddaughter, just turned three, who is given an elaborately-wrapped gift. She says to Grandpa, “You open it for me. I don’t want to break a nail.” Lastly, we present the four-year-old who declares she knows the difference between girl and boy cats. “You pick Kitty up, then turn it over,” she begins: “If the paws are pink, it’s a girl. If they are gray, it’s a boy.”
(Send snail mail submissions to Bard Lindeman, 5428 Oxbow Rd., Stone Mountain, GA 30087-1228, or, submit via
email.)
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Outrageous Associations
